luigifuckinglargo | (no subject)

WHO THE FUCK NEEDS VIAGRA YOU PISS THROWING NEW ZEALANDER

NOW THATS TOO FUCKING FAR

just because i'm not strong and i cant grow a mustache and there was that ONE thing with that ONE sheep that ONE fucking time

i'm a dinkum aussie dammit

NOT STRONG? WHAT THE FUCK I KNOW WHAT KIND OF ARM YOU NEED TO USE A KNIFE THAT SIZE AND--

MUSTACHE?? SHEEP???? OKAY WHAT THE FUCK. MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE TALKING TO MY BROTHER, HE'S THE ONE INTO WEIRD SHIT LIKE THAT

it's hard coming of age as a mustacheless, awkward queer farmgirl in the middle of the countryside without your own father's approval ok, how dare you judge me

fuck will someone please put out a bug zapper these gnats keep flying into my eyes and making them water

UH SHIT I WASN'T--

LOOK WHAT THE FUCK DOES ANYONE'S DAD KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING. MY POPS DECIDED HE WANTED A COMPLETE FUCKING STRANGER TO RUN HIS COMPANY INSTEAD OF HIS GODDAMN FIRSTBORN SON.

~~CHRIST, IS EVERYONE HERE A GODDAMN LESBIAN~~

i guess everyone in the world has some kind of daddy issues THANKS DAD

probably the only people here truly committed to that label are heavy and medic, although pyro is strictly off limits and if i see you even look at scout wrong i will run you up the flag pole by your wang

OH WAIT, REALLY?

AND DON'T WORRY AFTER HEARING ABOUT THE JIZZ THROWING, I WON'T BE LOOKING AT SCOUT EXCEPT TO STAY OUT OF RANGE.

engie was with monsieur blu for awhile. she might still be? i don't know how she's not sick of him, she's so brilliant and he's such a drongo. demo likes both the man and lady soldier, our soldier is ablaze with passion for war (and her shovel), our spy's unfortunately for you straight, and like i said pyro and scout are none of your damn business

WHOA OKAY I DIDN'T NEED EVERYONE'S GODDAMN LIFE STORY

I THINK YOU LEFT ONE OUT THOUGH

oh, i was with the RED spy, and then she cheated on me with our scout's mum, and then i cheated on her with our scout, and then i was with our scout's mum, and then the RED spy AND our scout's mum, and i'm trying to get pregnant by RED sniper but he doesn't know that, he thinks we're /fair dinkum rootin buddies/ that peasant. i just want his dna because he might actually be a better shot than me much as it pains me to admit it.

(and i guess this is as good a time as any to mention no one gets between me and my hero worship on saxton hale. no, it's not embarrassing. it's a requisite of my nationality)

so that's my life story anyway

THAT SOUNDS... COMPLICATED.

not so much. that wasn't a very professional period of my life, but with RED spy gone so much i've managed to maintain a lot more simple of a life now. romantical relationships just get in the way and can be silly, don't you think?

OH SURE, ROMANCE IS JUST A FUCK UP WAITING TO HAPPEN. I DON'T BOTHER WITH THAT SHIT.

high five to that, mate! i like your style