luigifuckinglargo | (no subject)

what where are you going

i was about to instuct you now you'll never know how to do it properly and you're going to get yourself blown down into a puddle

OKAY I'M BACK.

that was a long piss break there mate maybe you ought to learn jarate too

PISS BREAK, SURE.

i mean christ did everything come out ok or what

pyro's gonna be fucking livid if you didnt light a match after

...

YOU'VE GOTTA BE SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW.

i thoguht you just shitted you a minute ago, i'm not shitting anything now

I CAN'T EVEN TELL IF YOU'RE JOKING OR NOT AT THIS POINT

i'm a fucking professional i never joke and even if i did piss is no laughing matter. it's laughing at bathroom humor that might get you killed by a jarate master someday

SHEESH OKAY

I WAS FUCKING JERKING OFF IN THERE. ONLY SO MUCH OF THAT KNIFE AND BONING TALK I COULD LISTEN TO, YOU KNOW

oh

you're kind of twitchy aren't you? you'll have to be a little more stoic on the battlefield, can't go in with that attitude

(and i hope you cleaned up, because if you didn't scout might start slinging that crap around at the REDs again)

TWITCHY?!

UGH OF COURSE I FUCKING CLEANED UP. JESUS.

MIGHT START SLINGING-- WHAT THE FUCK

twitchy, yeah. save it for shower time, mate.

scout's jealous of RED scout, who manufactures his own, so for awhile when our spy was unpartnered she was sneaking around with a collection bottle because he's so stupid he didn't even notice

now that our spy's partnered up, scout's been carrying bonk! onto the battlefield again but i can tell she's still envious of the RED scout, especially when we use robots. it's a prime way to slow the buggers down.

HEY I WATCHED THAT WHOLE DAMN FIGHT AND THEN FOUND THAT KNIFE AND THEN HAD TO LISTEN TO ALL THAT OTHER TALK. CUT ME SOME FUCKING SLACK HERE

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVEN GET THE IDEA TO THROW JIZZ IN THE FIRST PACE, CHRIST. SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING PAVI'D DO, THAT FUCKING PERVERT.

there's no slack on the battlefield, /maggot/

as for the mad milk, if it works it works. we all have improvised weapons at some point or another but i think scout's the only one who's taken to making biohazards out of someone else's body fluids. she crossed a line in all our books, mate

WE'RE NOT ON ANY GODDAMN BATTLEFIELD RIGHT NOW

YEAH OKAY FINE, BUT IT'S STILL FUCKING GROSS.

You may have realised by now that Sniper throws jars of her urine at enemies on the battlefield.

hey come on now doc that's not fair

it's a legitimate real martial art with a legitimate real how to pamphlet /not to mention/ i destroyed my kidneys for my art

WAIT THAT'S WHY YOU ASKED ABOUT KIDNEYS

SO YOU COULD THROW MORE PISS AT PEOPLE?

well, yes, i've gotten good at jarate and i'd like to keep up the art, but lately it's been a weird color and my back's always hurting

YUP, SOUNDS LIKE IT'S TIME FOR SOME NEW KIDNEYS. I CAN GET YOU A GENECO BROCHURE IF YOU WANT.

UGH THAT'S FUCKING GROSS TOO, BUT IT LEAST IT ISN'T GODDAMNED SEMEN

says the man who sprays it at a little bit of knife comparison talk

i'm surprised you've never fought with a bayonet for your life, liberty and pursuit of happiness because you sure are a fucking minuteman

He has been suddenly thrown on a team of 8 woman who are and have been in various relationships. Not counting your Spy of course. Isn't that the fantasy of a lot of men? Even your mustached countrymen?